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How to send a whisper
Whispers are a feature that allows for private discussion between forum members inside a public topic.
You can create a whisper by starting to create a reply as usual, selecting the 
icon in the toolbar and clicking Toggle whisper:
The composer will indicate that the reply is a whi sper by showing (whisper) next to the title.
the rest of this thread is for testing out the whisper functionality - feel free to spam it
I found out that this is a staff-only feature and I was looking at the code and it seems to be hard-coded (hard to change)
And their advice is to use private messages instead of users for private posts
A particularly disapointing part of the threads is this comment:
No whispers is staff only, any expansion of this concept will be a nightmare to change.